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Hi. I like to write, I expect you like to read. What say we strike up an acquaintance?

You know you’re truly Ghanaian when…

  1. You definitely know someone - yourself included - called Sisi, Comfort (Connie), Faustina (Faustie), Rose (Rosie), Patience, Philomena (Philo), Veronica (Vero), Prince, Frank, Foster etc
  2. Your first name is a compound name consisting of your traditional day-of-birth name followed by a Western name of any variety e.g. Abena Rose, Kwame Frank, Akua Deborah, Akwasi Ernest, Yaa Salome etc
  3. You have been abroad i.e. Germany, Hamburg, London, Florida or know at least one distant relative there
  4. You find it an inexcusable burning necessity to truly shadda (tr: don your finest garb) to church on Sunday morning. NB: It has to be morning because the blessings diminish by the second.
  5. Once in church you give beyond your means because you know your blessings are computed by the cedi
  6. It is your pastor who tells you this
  7. Your idea of doing show (tr: taking someone on a treat) is taking the poor fellow to Papaye or some other random fast-food joint to get takeout
  8. Your earliest birthday memories consist of plates of fried rice with chicken and a cool uncle/auntie trying to dance with you while you do battle with another kid (the girl with the powerful ‘pool the rope’ or the boy with the unrelenting seizure that is meant to be the Harlem Shake/ Running Man or something of the sort)
  9. You have definitely used internet café services before; if you haven’t, stop trying to defend your Ghanaian-ness now, its impossible
  10. Your favorite artists of all time feature Celine Dion, Marc Anthony, Westlife and Akon
  11. You’re an expert at communicating completely and effectively with mono-syllabic and di-syllabic sounds such as ‘mmm’, ‘mmm-mm’, ‘mmn?’, ‘mmn!’, ‘mm-hm’, ‘hmm’, ‘ei!’, ‘ah!’, ‘eh?’

5 expressions:

Nana Yaw Asiedu said...

I totally love this, and I think it's so true!

Esi W. Cleland said...

hehehe...

My mom is auntie philo and my favorite ghanaian name is kwabena jones!

antye504 said...

@ Nana Yaw, thanks! I actually did enjoy writing this! We're such an amusingly distinct people!

@ Esi, no guessing where you're from! =)

JuaNita said...

lol I know a lot of Abena Rose's haha!

Adwoa Rose said...

Oh God this is very funny

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