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Ghanaians & Noise Pollution

In fact, Ghanafoc p3 dede! Really, hasn’t anybody heard of noise pollution? Ah! What nonsense is this?!

How can the first thing you do in the morning be to wake up to your bed vibrating and your eardrums spewing blood because some random idiot thinks it’s his right and God-given responsibility to blast some rubbish music from the next neighborhood at like a million decibels?! Idiocy! Idiocy, I tell you!

I mean, it’s bad enough that the music is shamefully loud, but it’s downright sacrilegious when on top of all this noise the music is crap too; when this music is in fact noise! Seriously, if it’s not some no-talent woman wailing about how God has done nothing in her life and has left her in the hands of the devil, then it is some equally untalented man declaring earnestly to the whole world how desperately he needs somebody to ring his ‘berlls’(wtf?). And as if destroying your already gloomy Monday morning is not enough, some will go on and give you another dose of noise to complement your lunch.

Oh and do they come in an array of colorful options: Take your pastor friend, Brother Fred, who believes he lives in ancient Jerusalem, and is on a quest to save the entire country from flaming damnation- even with the loudspeaker, he will shout in the streets of Accra till you can hear him in Bolga! Or the family of a deceased ‘big man paaa’ who had no interest in him when he was alive, but deem it ‘only right’ that he be given a befitting funeral at all cost- rain or shine, even if it means the funeral being broken down into weekly installments, and hiring mourners to roll on the ground and stridently recount non-existent anecdotes about his greatness. Then there is Sister Adjoa who will make all the fufu-pounding noise in the world to ensure that everyone knows her chopbar is open, all the while playing her very own rendition of noise. And all this while, the idiot who woke you up is still displaying his DJ-ing skills and has switched up his music to something different, but equally unpleasant and raucous.

And just as the sun goes down and you think that finally, peace-of-mind may just be an option, Abrante3 Spot or one of its cousin’s opens just around the corner, and bursts your bubble with a rude, loud, unbearable entrance that lasts and lasts like Keysoap, till you just want to go and throw yourself away. And to make matters worse, repeats the same music that jolted you out of your sleep, only louder, and with intent to remove all doubt from anybody’s mind that the spot is really open for business.

Really, we are a people blessed with an appreciation of, and an uncanny ability to make noise. It’s an interesting aspect of our lives that we can laugh about, however, on a more serious note; something really needs to be done about this compulsive desire we have to create some random ridiculous ruckus, at any point in time. Whales have died, and zebra finches have become less faithful to their partners... I just hope that they don't discover that noise pollution reduces our life span by 25%.

6 expressions:

Juanita said...

haha-some major ranting there! what can you do..blame it on the boogie!
On a more serious note-the noise does drive you mad, especially dem sheep which wander aimlessly. My advice- get an ak-47- show em who's boss!

Myne said...

ranter alert. I agree with you though.

@Juanita, you're not serious.

Dalyni Dynamite said...

all the noise has most probably made you a little annoyed/frustrated but your writing has put a smile on my face...i can just imagine it all! makes me want to return to accra.

Nana said...

Oh Juanita, the sheep!! They are just an irritation to all my senses...coming to think of it, I just might follow your advicse :)

Nana said...

Lol, Myne.

I agree with you too (lol)..No hard feelings Juanita ;)

Nana said...

LOL! Karina, annoyed/frustrated is an understatement... though, I guess there's no place like home *sigh*

PS: It's so nice to see you here again.

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