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I am happiest by myself. I like persons; not people. Music keeps me alive. I try to be worthy of God's love. I'm still trying to find my way...

Wasted Words

This poem was the product of a collabo with a friend, Essie...

Within this verse
Lie wasted words
Fragments of my heart, pieces of my soul
Longing for a happiness I may never know
A twisted reality, cruelty from God
I think and think
And write and write
Yet the thoughts of my mind
I can never really find
And then she flies in
To proclaim my ruin

A breath, then maybe a tear
But let it come, I’ll fight it
Armed,
With my words, with my heart
With my faith
Let it come, and I will fight it
Whatever happens,
There’s no greater cost than my wasted words

My wasted tears
Twisted fears, a forgotten past
I cannot let pass
Still dwells in my heart
Reflects in my eyes
No matter how much
Time passes by

I'm Thankful

Last night I was reading a post on maameous.blogspot.com on Thankfulness and I just realized how much there is to be thankful for...I wrote this while walking to school this morning...


I’m thankful for the seasons

The wet and the dry

I’m thankful for the people

Even those that make me cry

I’m thankful for the birds

That fly high in the sky

And the sweet songs they sing

Make me thankful

I’m alive


I’m thankful for a father’s love

That really never dies

And that of a mother

That’s always by my side

I’m thankful for the innocence

That’s in a baby’s eyes

And the warmness in my heart

That reminds me

I’m alive


I'm thankful for my blessed sister

Her generous hand and loving heart

The priceless love of brothers

The opportunity to forgive others

That no sin is beyond forgiveness

That happiness begets happiness


I’m thankful for the surging hope

That comes with breaking dawn

For the potential in a butterfly

That’s yet to be born

For the dew in the morning

That makes Monday bearable

For the fact that being happy

Means there’s one less person miserable


I’m thankful for my friends

That make this journey easier

For the crazy things they do and say

That make my life happier

For the kind words from a stranger

That are welcome and unexpected

And the inspiration they bring

When times look dire


I’m thankful for nature’s beauty

That I get to feel for free

And the ocean that stretches

Beyond the endless sea

That there’s red wine and white chocolate

That’s made just for me


I’m thankful for the losses

That remind you what you’ve got

And teach you to appreciate

What you have lost

I’m thankful that an end

Means a new beginning

And that when the sun goes down

I’ll still be singing

That a passing means a new arrival

That you’ll always be there

Whenever I call

I Love You

You’re a beauty beyond words

In your eyes I lose my fears

You complete my happiness

Wipe away my weary tears

In your eyes I find my life

For your love is worth my strife

You’re the rhythm to my life

Give me more than would a wife

You feed my soul

And when I need it you console

My heart you stole

But with that you made me whole

I could go on forever

But no words could ever capture

How much you’re a treasure

How much I love you

TOK TRIP...hmmm

Below is an account of the first Theory of Knowledge trip the SOS - HGIC class of 2010 took to Abadi. It was different and enlightening but most of all very fun and i hope the sense of excitement carries through. *There's like one or two inside jokes i think, but i trust this will not mar the piece for you -it was initially written for the school magazine.

So we left the school like a minute or two after 3pm (so technically we were OFF SCHEDULE, YES I was looking forward to that) and got to Abadi at roughly 4:30pm, I believe. Sadly we left the charming females by the lake and looked for encampment further up in the dark dangerous hills. Much to the dismay of certain people who thought themselves a trio of wise men, they got to sleep in the village huts on HAAAARD beds, the lucky ones got the ever-so comfy chalets and the hardest bunch of 22 guys got to sleep in the bar surrounded by a myriad of booze bottles, [shout outs to Mr. Togbor and the female bartender (was her name Esther or something?)] a TV with DsTV which was unavailable and an AC which decided to breakdown when it was most needed.

OK, so we settled in and then the charming females came up to join us on our side where we had supper and then went on to do an activity. Firstly, we were shown a jar of candy and told to estimate how many pieces were in it -at this point I thought this was pretty dull. Later we did another activity. Surprisingly (for me at least), i found this quite interesting for many reasons- Firstly because the task was unusual and secondly because our initial idea underwent mind-boggling modification before our final answer. Also, it was quite amusing and intriguing as to how other peoples ideas made so much more sense(and vice-versa;) that it made you wonder what kept you from thinking further. Oh almost forgot the task: We were split into our different class groups (for some reason green was supposed to disperse so I joined Blue) and each group was given a black box with something in it. We were supposed to describe the structure of the box and what could be in it.

After this we were advised to break up into our groups to prepare for the presentation on Saturday morning. Needless to say some did, others didn’t- C'est la vie. I met with my group by the bar (strange location...?) and we were done in like 10mins. Everybody else was done at about then and somehow the barroom turned into some mini concert hall with me and Ibi on the vocals and Elom on the strings and Zahra and Nah D.....well i guess they could pass for the video girls. Oh yes, all this while Mrs. Hutchful hung out with ‘The Boys’ trying hard to not look thoroughly bored at being surrounded by an excess of testosterone

OK, ffwd, the girls eventually leave *sniff* and it’s literally Boys Night Out. Between ordering countless plates of chicken and drink (nothing naughty, pinky swear), Isaac telling Mr. Togbor about IB HGIC and his whole life story, James browning Isaac, Albert and Jerry thinking they were too deep to let go of their earphones and Leonard just causing havoc among other things we somehow got through the night up until Kamau decided that people needed to sleep and so the lights had to go but the voices could remain below hearing threshold. Consequently, Albert got into deep philosophical discussion with Kimi, Jerry stole my sleeping bag even though I was lending it to him, I tried to steal Caleb’s pillow and at about 3am I DID steal James’s cover cloth- sorry blad but I was cold. Oh yes, I did see Mr. Togbor boozing and then picking a mattress of me to sleep on (this resulted in my pilfering of James’s cloth- his expression was priceless in the morning!)

The next day we were supposed to get ready at about 6: 30, before the girls arrived. The chalets’ water wasn’t running (its called karma) and hence all bathing was done in some basement-like bathroom and a hut serving as a bathroom further down in the Village. The charming members of the opposite sex arrived and we had breakfast. Do I need to state that at this point I was a bunch of nerves because the presentations started immediately after breakfast?

Anyway the presentations started with the Red, Blue and Purple groups beginning the day. I cannot remember which group I joined but it had presentations from Paapa’s group and Harriet’s group and was evaluated by Kamau and Mwalimu. I was very entertained, informed but mostly intimidated especially by Harriet’s group which was especially impressive with an in depth dissection of the subject of Knowing Beauty or The Perception of Beauty (they flagrantly exceeded the time limit though. Ha!). Sources say the other groups were also very good but I can only base this knowledge on language…After this session we had snack.

Drum roll, trumpets blow, my group is the first group for the second session (At this point we had been split into two groups-Green, Yellow). Contrary to my expectation it went better than expected. We talked about language as a way of knowing and it’s role in limiting or redefining knowledge with the Biafra War as the case study, David dropping a couple of jokes(?) here and there. Sadly, Mr.Kitching felt that the topic wasn’t completely dealt with*sniff*. Zahra’s group talked about knowing when killing is justified and Dwayne’s group talked about Mathematics and the mathematician lack of the ability to express himself – Gartaa, trust him, would not take this and this made for some comic relief. I hear Yasmine’s presentation and Ibi’s presentation, both on History, were engaging and insightful (respect!) We were then asked to evaluate our own presentations.

Lunch was next- a choice between banku and jollof. Those of us who considered ourselves European/ Asian/ American/ (any other appropriate description) opted for jollof which by the way someone described as ‘horrid/cardboard-tasting’…. Me, I was hungry and had a third helping as did many others of the male gender (and some females too…). Next thing I knew I was sleeping as were many others until Mr. Kidane came to force us out of Dreamland and all the way to the female encampment.

Here we sat by the lake feeling all exotic and in touch with nature till another activity came along. We broke into our larger groups again and were given profiles of a tribe which we were supposed to act like. My group, Green considered itself divine descendants of a king-deity, Gbalazu who was given divine status and grace along with all his descendants by the river god, Abugri. We were then supposed to interact with the other groups bearing our identity in mind. Later we were given another scenario where our island was sinking and we had to share another island with people from other lands. We were shuffled such that there were 4 people from each group in every group. Bearing, our identity in mind we were supposed to come out with a constitution for the island. After arguing our divinity out ¼ hour the meeting somehow disintegrated.

Some guys played soccer while others hung out in the girls’ rooms…well, until Mrs. Hutchful seemed to think that this was risky (lol! with a large number of both sexes in an uneven ratio). Eventually the guys left to shower and get ready for supper and the looooong -awaited jam.

Supper was Fried rice and Chicken which could definitely have done with some spice. Then somewhere between trying to fix the obdurate AC and Jerry and Edwin doing things with the music the jam, started… it was insanely hot (the weather, that is) and the speakers bungled twice. Eventually, it was moved to Chalet 1(or was it 3?), where I can only say it was a success, thanks to HAMJ. All this time, Paapa, Anna and Edwin (Buddha himself) were making the kebabs- thanks guys, Bra Albert is proud of you.

The girls left after exchanging jets of water from water sachets with the guys outside. The night ended with more chicken and a discussion on dwarves (yes, its true) among other things by which time I had seized Leonard’s sofa.

Sunday, we had breakfast and got back our estimates of the quantity of sweets and were supposed to come up with consensual estimates (experiential ones) for our groups (the Black Box ones). Sefa then won the jar with an estimate of 214 sweets, which was actually 210, I think (London juju) and all hands were on deck for its consumption. Next, we were supposed to make 2min evaluation-presentation of the blog. Reviews were generally good but EVERY group wanted facebook unblocked (hint, hint). Some more chicken and then we hit the road. En route, Isaac organized a turkey-backside (chofi/kyofi) feast at the back of bus and Paapa killed some aboloo. I’m not sure when we got back but expressions were ambivalent.

This trip taught me that the idea of 22 boys sleeping in a bar is not as absurd as it sounds, opening one’s mind to other opinions does wonders and that I have to get out of IB!

Pretty long; guess I got carried away by the memories

*Did I mention that the bus left 2 people and that the dwarves had their revenge on Isaac? -Only in the graduating class of 2010!*

As I Grow Older

As the pendulum swings

As I grow older

Life with it brings

New things to ponder


As each day I cry

And say a bye-bye

I get stronger

As I grow older


Some people they hate

They hate with no reason

And others they change

They change with every season


It’s hard to explain

This life and its pains

But the pain comes with gains

And they come all over again


You cannot win

In this world full of sin

Doesn’t matter what you do

Wouldn’t matter if you knew

Their expectations

You cannot reach

Their expectations


You cannot practice

What you preach

The goals you set

They will not let you reach

Your very sense

They will let you breach


As I grow older

The road gets longer

Tomorrow’s an eternity

Full of new complexities

ALL-TIME MUST-READ BOOKS...

If you've ever felt like there's no book for you, my condolences...but there's a light at the end of the tunnel and it is my appointed duty to lead you to it. Je te presente, six of the ultimate best in modern (and not so modern) literature...Works you may read for the very first time and works you may love to read again

Wine, dine and unwind as you indulge in the sumptuous works of some of the most brilliant minds and imaginations...

THE CHRISTMAS TRAIN- David Baldacci
The perfect book for the holiday season, Baldacci's words will make you yearn for Christmas like no other book has. It is the light-hearted tale of a disillusioned journalist who must get from Washington to L.A. in time for Christmas. By a fortunate (or not so fortunate) twist of fate, he is forced to travel by train, resulting in encounters with characters from your very own life and a hilarious, thrilling tale. This book will touch your heart and keep you smiling the whole book through. *Watch out for Agnes Joe- muy fenomenal!*

THE GREEN MILE- Stephen King
If you have watched the motion picture, you will love the book. Green Mile is the (sometimes eerie) story of life on death row. Here you will be introduced to characters from the psychopathic "Billy the Kid" to the possessed Eduard Delacroix and John Coffey. Accused of raping and murdering two young girls, Coffey has been sentenced to death. Come explore with King, Coffey's guilt and discover for yourself, the intricacies of this demon's personality... (Angel...?)

TRYPTICH- Karin Slaughter
This is by far one of the best books I have ever, ever read. Set in the past present and future, it is a book true to its title. When Detective Michael Ormewood is faced with one of the most brutal killings in his career, he does not know that it is only the beginning of a string of equally gruesome murders linked to his past... A past so dark and ridden with secrets it cannot and will not stay buried. This book will make you ponder your life's decisions and the people you hold dear...

THE HOMING- John Saul
Three words- light, deep HORROR. Karen Spellman is moving with her children to the countryside with hopes of rewriting her life on a fresh, clean slate...but something sinister awaits the Spellmans; a hideous evil of nature itself fashioned in the very pits of Hades. It has waited hard and long for its perfect victim...and the Spellmans fit the specifications quite accurately. It may not appeal to all but this book will make you squirm and literally look over your shoulder even in the light of day.

ANGELS & DEMONS- Dan Brown
This novel beats The Da Vinci Code. HANDS DOWN. Its is an amazing mystery woven round the Catholic Church, the legendary Illuminati and the little-known (to the scientifically bankrupt…and others) antimatter. Set in Vatican City, Robert Langdon, a Harvard Symbologist believes his sole mission is to stop the secretive Illuminati from destroying the Vatican City with the newly-discovered power of antimatter. However, you and he together will discover that there's always more beneath the surface. Absolutely enchanting! Literally Un-put-down-able!!

WAITING TO EXHALE- Terry McMillan
This book is authentically black, completely undiluted and absolutely delicious. The book is based on 4 'sistas' and their relationships with men and one another. All 4 are waiting for the day they can feel comfortable in a committed relationship with a man; they are 'waiting to exhale'. This book explores the complexities of life and the fundamental things that make us laugh and cry. No matter the color of your skin, this book is sure to move you to tears and/or make you fall over in rumbles of laughter. As good as the motion picture.

There are definitely other books that will no doubt tickle your fancy, regardless of your personality. However, I am a busy man with a very busy life and an education I’m committed to, so you shall be guided further down this path in the next edition. Hasta pronto!

“Books are the windows through which the soul looks out”
-Henry Ward Beecher-

His Love, My Inspiration

Don’t ever give up when the going gets tough

Remember you can never try hard enough

And if ever you trip and fall

Brush off the dust, don’t sit and crawl

Because someone’s always got your back

Even when you believe life’s hollow and dark


Don’t despair, never fear

Never ever shed a tear

Just know He’s always there

Always cares

Never gives you what you can’t bear


It’s so much easier to mope, lose hope

Forfeit what you could achieve

In refusing to believe

Insisting on resisting to love Him

On opening up your heart to His loving embrace

Pursuing the world and shunning His grace

Assuming the most you can do

Is the same as the most you are willing to


He’s the sweetest friend you could ever know

And a life without Him is bound for sorrow

A life without Him is a sunless summer day

But his blood was shed to give us grace

It is wholly our choice to make

Our bond to break or chance to take

Mummy

Sweet you are

Much sweeter than honey

A greater treasure than gold

Always around to inspire and push me

Someone to hold when life gets cold


Beautiful lover of my soul, flaws and all

Always ready to catch my fall

Gentle, sweet, dedicated strong

My favorite, familiar, melodious song

My angel without wings

To my life, joy you bring


And even though I went astray

You never kept me at bay

Taught me to love, taught me to pray

Still loved me with a priceless heart

Did more than just play your part

God’s gorgeous masterpiece within and without

A priceless jewel we could not do without


The scales of life could not measure your worth

And though four times you gave us birth

To our home you still brought mirth

If words could express my love and pride

A thousand books I would write

And still not convey what you mean to me

Because my love for you is like a sea

Unchanging, Unending, Ever-growing, Evergreen

Ménage a Trois

Your eyes escape mine

Your feelings elude me

There’s no time

In this fragment of eternity

There’s just us

You

Me

And love

***

It’s about time

We gave up the pretense

Laid down the defense

Give in to what

We tried to hide

Drown in the fatal sweetness

Of this deep dark adventure

Laugh in awe

At all its hidden splendor

Drink in

Its unsung melodies

Keep memories

As heartwarming trophies

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